Ronald McDonald Gets A Makeover

Apparently, if you wipe Ronald McDonald's face clean of all that clown makeup, straighten his hair out, and put him in heels, you'll come to find that he is actually a hot chick.

I Am A Font

The CHOOB Stripes font!


Hooray! :)

And if you look at the design credits, Choob Stripes was first seen on MyFont on December 11, just one day after my birthday. Yes. My destiny is intertwined with the Choob Stripes!

Nonsensical IM Conversations Entry #4

Enrty #4 - Save The Africans!

diane717:
aaron gave me a plant
as a test to see if i can take care of a living thing
official_choob:
haha!
how nice
what kind?
diane717:
african violets
official_choob:
you must not let them die then
diane717:
so i think if they make it thru, we'll move on to hamstsers
official_choob:
i will pray for your africans.

END.

You Know What It's Like To Be A Tree?

Cool rotoscoped animation about a boy who claims he was a tree in another life.

Children... they are wise.

Pinoy Thriller

Watch 1500+ Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center inmates do the "Thriller"...

Entertaining siya ha... in fairness...

Please Press The "Pon Pon"

I purchased a padlock today. It was manufactured in a country where the primary language is NOT English. And how did I come to that conclusion, you ask? Well, ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you...

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

I rest my case.

By the way... I don't know what a "pon pon" is, but asking me to "press" it in a "concealed spot" just sounds kinda dirty.

Rehab

I will be offline for the remainder of the weekend. I'm going to a rehab center for internetz addiction. Wish me luck! LOLzers.

Takot Ako Eh!

I was browsing around for some good reading material at Powerbooks the other day and came across one of their Harry Potter promotional gimmicks. It's called the Powerbooks Pensieve (in reference to that magical bowl thingy from the story where you can put your memories in for examination at a later time). But the Powerbooks Pensieve, on the other hand, is a not a bowl but a book filled with questions where customers can write down their creative answers. One of the things it asks is: if you encountered a Boggart, what would it turn into? The Boggart, for those of you who flunked Defense Against the Dark Arts, is a shape-shifting creature that will turn into the worst fear of anyone who encounters it. And here are a few of the answers that I read:

(1) snakes

Yep. Snakes certainly are scary.

(2) cockroaches

Gross.

(3) my high school P.E. teacher

I remember mine. He would pronounce P.E. as "fee - eee", but he would say "pisikal" education.

(4) Jolina Magdangal singing Paper Roses

I thought that you would be a perfect lover
You seem so full of sweetness at the start
But like a big red rose that's made of paper
There isn't any sweetness in your heart

*shudders*

(5) Wendy from PBB

Total. Psycho.

and lastly...

(6) Willie Revillame in a bikini

Boom-Tarat-PAKSHET!!!

Now THAT is scary...

The Mystery Of The Outrageously Low Alexa Rank

So I've been reading about Alexa rankings, which is basically a measurement of the traffic one receives to his or her website. I won't really go into detail about how it works (mostly because I don't really know, and I'm not about to make stuff up... not this time at least), but basically, a HIGHER Alexa ranking should mean that your site is getting LESS traffic compared to another site with a LOWER Alexa ranking.

Higher Alexa = Lower Traffic

Lower Alexa = Higher Traffic

So if your site has an Alexa rank of 6,345,654, don't go bragging about that. A 20, on the other hand, should mean that your site is quite popular. Notice how I keep using the word "should". Many people argue that Alexa ranking really isn't a very reliable way of measuring the traffic volume of websites. Again, I won't really go into detail, but I'd have to say that I'm more inclined to agree with that. You see, I checked the Alexa rank of this blog today and it comes in at an outrageously low number of 16! To give you an idea of how low that is, Friendster's Alexa rank is 20. So it should mean that my blog is getting more traffic than Friendster! Clearly not the case...

I took a screen shot of my ranking as it was displayed by my SearchStatus toolbar (which is a Firefox add-on that lets the browser display Alexa and Google Page Ranks):

I checked out two other blogs that belonged to my friends and found that they, too, had Alexa ranks of 16:

Straight On 'Til Morning

Poutyisms

All our blogs are on blogger so I suspected that that probably has something to do with these seemingly inaccurate rankings. So I went to the Alexa.com website to double check if my blog really does have an Alexa rank of 16, and here's what I saw:

The Alexa rank being displayed by my SearchStatus toolbar was the one for the Blogger.com homepage (which is 16), and not the rank for my actual blog. It probably means that my Alexa rank for this blog is non-existent, so the toolbar just displayed that of Blogger.com, which is where my blog lives. The non-existence of this blog's Alexa rank does however support the assumption that yes, I probably only have 3 readers.

So that, my 3 dear readers explains the mystery of my outrageously low Alexa rank. Not all blogspot blogs will display an Alexa rank of 16, however. Many of the older ones (who've come to have more incoming traffic) will display their very own rankings, but for those of you who come to find that your blogspot blog displays a ranking of 16, you can tell other people, "Hey, my blog's Alexa rank is higher than Friendster's!" Of course if you say that to people who actually know about Alexa ranks, they'll probably think your either lying, crazy or stupid. Those happen to be the names of my 3 readers, by the way.

Nonsensical IM Conversations Entry #3

Entry #3 - Umiwas Sa Dengue!

official_choob:
i talked to pouty before he left for his VIETBODIA trip
he was a bit panicked because he thought he may have contracted
dengue when he exchanged bodily fluids with a mosquito on the afternoon
of his departure
but i told him that i saw on the internetz that dengue symptoms usually
show after 6 days
so by that time, he should be back in the philippines
where he can spread his dengue from the comfort of his own home
via other mosquitoes
diane717:
he exchanged bodily fluids with a mosquito??
official_choob:
yes, the mosquito bit pouty's pouty lips
they kissed
diane717:
hahahahahahaha
official_choob:
i'm kidding ofcourse, but that would have been funny
diane717:
indeed

END.

Manang Neneng Is Looking For Something

So some of you already know about Manang Neneng, whom I wrote about in The Lamentations Of Our New Laundrywoman. Today, I overheard her while she was in the backyard, calling out to her pet stray cat.

"Oh, PUSSY! Where are you, PUSSY? Come here, PUSSY!"

Yes. There is nothing quite as unnerving as hearing an old woman calling out to her PUSSY.

The Lamentations Of Our New Laundrywoman

We hired a new laundrywoman a few weeks ago, because the old one recently got married to a man she had never before seen in her entire life (it's a funny story, but I think I'll talk about that in another entry) and moved back to her old province. So we now have a new one, and she is an old but rather spirited lady who used to be a beautician (which probably explains why her hair is not her natural color and her penchant for wearing ornate, dangling earrings at all times). She's in her fifties, so we all call her "Manang" which is a respectful term that translates to "old lady". But her real name is "Neneng" which roughly translates to "little girl". So that makes her "Manang Neneng" or "Old Lady Little Girl". Lovely...

Over the weekend, we took Manang Neneng, along with the cleaning lady, with us to our vacation house in Tagaytay to do some laundry. At first she was really excited, because it was going to be her first time to see it. She seemed to enjoy herself, and the weather was really nice. But on the second day, an overwhelming sense of sadness had overcome her. The cleaning lady found her in the basement, folding clothes with tears welling up in her eyes. She asked what was wrong, and Manang Neneng tells her that she's sad because she misses being in our house in Manila.

Oooowkay...

Then the cleaning lady laughed at her. And then she told us the story of Manang Neneng's lamentations about being home sick after a whopping total of TWO days. And then we laughed too. I wondered what on earth it was that she could be missing in our house in Manila, and then my mom said that she thinks it's all the stray kitties that she's befriended there the past couple of weeks.

So there... that's the story of our new, super-emo, cat-loving, formerly-a-beautician laundrywoman. And today our lesbian cook resigned so we're looking for a new one, too.

Orgasmic Delight On A Plate

Oh, yes...